POEMS

HOME INBRIEF BLOG TOWN KROWDON STELLA

¡¡

To those times no more

 

From the past some people emerge;

They come timidly knocking uninvited;

But with what motivation - what urge?

Could it be that their lives are blighted?

Friendships culled from bottles now defunct;

In sobriety relations unable to sustain;

Associations once endured whilst drunk

Now gone - like evaporated rain.

With faces that echo past drinking time

And chatter grown inane,

They sit like cellars scrubbed of wine,

Waiting to replenish past liaisons, in vain.

But what prompts their onerous visit?

Neither friendship, nor pleasant nostalgia;

Nor the courtesy of neighbourly habit;

No, nothing subject to amiable criteria;

Only an undue desire to re-establish

A former, best forgotten association;

Now dead - thrown out along with the rubbish

Not belonging in our present situation.

So, people who belong to a different age,

With politeness escort to the door

And let them return to their self-made cage:

We wish a return, to those times no more.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

My shoes will never last the week

 

My shoes will never last the week;

They've begun to squeak,

Because of the leak,

In the sole

Where the hole is.

Dark sky.

Rain again.

The machine stitching

Is coming undone,

And the leather has a withered, weathered look,

Which is not at all pleasing to the eye.

Worn heels.

Wet socks.

My shoes will never last the week.

¡¡

¡¡

 

¡¡

Thoughts with a Hamlet

To drink or not to drink?

That is the question.

Whether it be nobler in the mind

To serve tea instead of grog

And by temperance be sober.

To refrain, to abstain once more,

And by abstinence

To say we end the tipsification

And the thousand natural Ales

That the flesh is alcohol to.

It is intoxication

Devoutly to be swallowed:

To refuse, to restrain, yes!

To restrain perchance to abstain?

But pale ale - there's the pub!

For in that abstinence from drink,

What sober deliriums may come

When we have soaked off

The midnight brew

Must give us hops.

And there's the hops that makes alcohol

Of this Long Life.

For who would bare the abstained

And the anti-drink campaigner;

The pangs of moderation;

The insolence of short measure;

And the thought that a man

Might his destiny change,

With a large vodka and lemonade.

¡¡

¡¡

Marriage Vow

 

I know we've had a lot of troubles,

A lot of ups and downs,

When hot uncertainty bubbles,

And cold doubt provides the frowns.

From now no more explorations,

No more anxious nights alone,

Neither threats, nor protestations,

That made unhappiness the tone.

Let us now make love protected,

Let us now make love secure,

Let family and friends be affected,

And make our marriage pure.

At last we have each other,

At last our ideal is found,

From now let love be our mother,

And, our father - trust profound.

¡¡

¡¡

If I too be nailed?

¡¡¡¡

I am sapped by depression.

What has lowered me?

Is it awful contrition?

But, why should I be penitent?

Did He not atone for me?

Why put me upon the rack?

What point His crucifixion,

If I too, be nailed

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

God does not speak

With thunder and lighting;

Nor sudden appearances;

But, with metaphore

And silent coincidence

 

 

Blind Sight

 

 

Always out, I look,

Seeking physical elation,

In the drugged cup

In sexual relation.

In pursuit of fun

Every weekend,

Yet what do I get

For the money I spend?

Neither sanity, nor sex;

But empty talk.

What else do I expect,

On my staggered walk?

I desperately seek

A more sober life,

Only to find in sobriety

A vacuous strife.

Using booze as fuel

How bright I shine!

Yet still the fool

In the morrow time.

I prostitute my soul

In the pursuit of pleasure;

Yet never find

The comfort I treasure.

New faces and places

Ever I leave home,

Only to find repetition

Wherever I roam

Even wealth and fame

Can bring despair,

Of love and care.

Ever out must I look

Beyond my skin?

Or come back to that,

The spirit within.

 

 

True Soul Mates

 

Nothing seems to go right for us

No matter how we try,

Always at cross purposes,

And at each other fly.

Fighting like cockerels - like hawks!

And then embrace like cats on heat,

Clutching and a mewing

And licking each other's feet.

And so it is with my love and I,

Both to proud to agree,

And all our desires go awry,

In our similarity.

We wound and scar each other's hearts,

With curses at our fate;

That now in love we can never part,

We have found our true soul mate.

For in our ways we are difficult

To live with side by side;

We swear, we sigh - and then insult!

Yet, still our love abides.

 

 

¡¡

Lost Moon

 

Wherever will I find another?

A lover that brought me such joy;

Yet often my thoughts did smother,

And more often than not annoy.

A presence that did burn

In my life every day.

Heartache did I deliberately earn,

When I gave in every way?

Could I have been so mistaken?

About her love for me?

Doubt often left me shaken,

And thus wounded I would flee.

But always back I came,

And always so did she,

To return to more of the same;

The glory and bane of we.

Mooning and swooning in each other's arms;

Up to heaven we were lifted,

Melting in the others charms,

So often have we drifted.

Up above and over the Sun,

Beyond the breast of stars!

Between our legs the wax did run

When all moon was ours.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

I am a single man

I am a single man!

I shout it with pride;

An autominous individual,

With nothing at all to hide.

Independent I travel,

In separateness unique,

I hold aloft me,

This mantle of mystique.

I want to be separate;

I need to be a recluse;

To hank on another shoulder,

Would be a lame excuse.

Sovereignty is my tailor;

Yes - I'm a well dressed dude,

Which casual association

Can only strip and denude.

A bachelor unconnected,

With Matron or Maid;

A spinster would confound me!

And Ladies, I evade.

I've chosen a priesthood;

That suits me particular;

Though I do have my doubts,

And hope I'm not parculiar?

For often I get lonely,

Dispite my resolve;

And then, my beliefs,

How quickly they dissolve

 

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

We talk till the birds awake

And then what have we said,

A long uncontrolled shigh

Better we had gone to bed.

Why is it when I hold you

My arms speak louder than words

And your faint heartbeat

Is the rhythm of worlds

Must I forever impress you

With my vacous charms

Always spilling the glue

Between the night and stars

Now the morn arises

And still we gabble

We will end up in the azises

If we run with the rabble.

Yes let me tell you that you are the one for me

If I am not true then you intitalled to run

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

Hard God

 

You talk of tenderness.

I EAT SOULS.

You talk of compassion.

I CHEW MENS HEARTS.

You cry - Love! I SET FIRE TO THE UNIVERSE.

Look, you cry.

Don't cry.

 

¡¡

¡¡

 

¡¡

¡¡

I do not hear your laughter

I do not hear

nor see your glare;

nor feel your pain.

My pain is the loss of material things,

My regret is that all my work has been in vain,

My pain is the simple pain of homesickness.

Your pain is much deeper;

It is the pain of a predator who's claws are not long enough;

It is the pain of a snake who's venom can not kill;

It is the pain of a ghost who cannot haunt.

Material things can be replaced;

Work can build another home;

I will recover from my sickness.

But your claws will never caress;

Your venom will never redeem;

And your apparition will never delight.

When you snarl - I smile;

When you spit - I kiss;

When you hate - I forgive¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

I am so much in love with Her

I terribly miss her

Why does she hate me?

I did not desert her

I did not betray her

I left because I was afraid.

I awake and sadness overwhelms me

My banishment makes me tremble

I consider suicide.

Life without her is empty

Vacant of purpose

A bright wrapped present with nothing inside

A disappointment.

What day is it?

That boy she has taken up with

She is with him

She misses me not. I am not there.

Only the traces of what I used to be.

There I have become - a ghost.

And here I am shell, empty.

 

¡¡

¡¡

Our son will be a good man,

He will strike down evil

He will be graced,

He will know the difference.

Linda,

He will have your eyes and my hair;

He will be bright and funny;

He will jump and roll;

He will sleep with us,

When he is afraid,

And we will hold him.

He will be proud of us,

And we will show him what love is,

And then he will be true.

Our daughter will have your mouth,

And my smile;

She will dress as her mother dresses

And she will break hearts;

As her mother did.

But then one day she will meet her man,

As you did.

She will come to us for help,

And we will be there.

She will understand that not all men are selfish.

She will be beautiful,

And we will take care of her.

You will talk to her as I cannot.

You will teach her to flash her eyes,

And I will teach her what philosophers said;

You will wipe her nose,

And I will show her what an elephant is.

We will make love on her wedding day,

And I will give you the ring I never did.

And I will love you until the day I die.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

With Loss Openly Deal

Acknowledge the loss of a loved one,

Face the truth before you go on,

What if.?..speculations leave wisely alone,

Of companions - take courage as the one.

Accept your pain as normal,

There is nothing absurd about loss,

With all other humans you are equal,

You knew when enough was enough.

She exercised too much mischief,

And your heart became weak,

You felt alone in your grief,

But this hour need not be bleak.

Though her shadow is still cast,

Steel and call forth grit,

Do not slip back into the past,

With determined breath say, "I quit!"

Pain will pass, but do not run,

Easy does the experience,

Drift with the clouds toward the sun,

Leisurely build your confidence.

Use your pain to motivate,

And form a new resolve,

To change the past it is too late,

Let the future evolve.

Give yourself permission to feel,

Do not your emotions confine,

With your loss openly deal,

Write, talk, cry out every line.

For failure is never final,

From darkest night comes dawn,

Sadness and joy measure in equal,

Let love your grief transform.

Realise the power of self-talk,

It is you, who can convince,

It is best to stand and walk,

With head held high like a prince.

Repeat every day your personal prayer,

That you are worthwhile and will win,

Not as an observer; but as a member,

All happiness starts from within.

Choose your thoughts carefully,

Do not always think about thee,

Never dwell with negativity,

Centre on the person to be.

¡¡

Do what you can for another¡¯s sake

That always advances dignity.

To seek and ease another¡¯s ache,

Will set your inner self free.

Always take care of your health,

Work hard, but rest sufficiently,

A body fit is worth more than wealth,

And magnifies possibility

What you do is up to you,

Be a responsible thinker,

All your choices carefully review,

Be your own saviour.

Of the past now let go,

Never into it retreat,

If in your resolve you are too slow,

Your mistakes you will repeat.

Allow your hatred to dissolve,

For about forgiveness realise this:

Its purpose is not others to absolve,

But for your heartache to diminish.

Be aware of your venerability,

Know that a new love can wait,

Solitude gives strength to ability,

As you seek a new soul mate.

Take charge of your emotions,

Face loneliness head on,

Find peace with wise devotions,

And never hope abandon.

Oh God, face me with the truth,

About myself let reality be known,

Let gone the illusions of my youth,

And my judgement become fully-grown.

 

In Linda's Eyes

¡¡

In Linda¡¯s eyes,

I will tell you what I see,

That which causes my heart to rise,

And my sense of purpose to be.

Wide, open and round,

As playful as a child,

Pools in which I drown,

Immersed in mosture mild.

Eyes as bright as gold,

Shine like gleaming spheres,

The petals of my heart unfold,

As I rise in atmospheres.

Up where misty clouds do swash,

My spirit drifts enchanted,

Swimming in the warmest wash,

Of her sweet and tender glances.

Upon the edge of a turtle shell,

Her tears roam free,

Her eyes brightly well,

On the brim of a light blue sea.

Beaming with curiosity,

Her mind for all things to know,

Wisdom has only one recipe,

That refection is best when slow.

She senses the ridiculous,

Of all the ups and downs,

She is herself hilarious,

When she smiles away my frowns.

Her eyes have wisdom,

When shining forth at times,

She allows her thoughts to blossom,

And her insights are sublime.

But oft she wears a look unsure,

A look that's plagued with doubt,

Love, for her, is the only cure,

Without it she has, but nowt!

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

Loves Rage

 

All threats said, are now done;

Where fear consumes, love lingers;

Though all the hate, love has won;

As tears weep past our fingers,

Neither malice; nor anger has induced,

A withering of our affection;

Nor despair, nor drink has reduced,

Our love to affectation

We are back together again.

Like holding hostage?

No, love does remain;

Both hearts within the cage.

¡¡

¡¡¡¡

Jade Moon

¡¡

Reflections of Jade upon the moon,

Or jewels scattered in blood,

Did we arrive in heaven too soon?

And found velvet only mud?

Where between excess and balance,

Can we find a place?

Somewhere in the distance,

An end to this sexual race?

Why can't again I be swept!

By the waves upon her lips;

With my pride held erect,

Between the swaying of her hips

When boils passion uncontrolled,

Only pain can enter,

For where she has truly strolled,

I have no idea whatever.

¡¡

Why can't love forever abide,

Without consuming my soul?

Where gone has my bride?

Now, I will never know.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

 

Where's Icky Gone?

¡¡

Where's Icky gone?

We've searched high and low,

The whole place from

Top to toe.

Under the beds,

In cupboards and draws,

Behind the chairs,

There's no place more.

Beside the window,

Was the last place seen?

I wish I could say.

We knew where he's been.

But we don't know

And it makes us sad,

For the loss of Icky,

A teddy we had.

Perhaps on the wind,

Out the window he's flown,

And on a rainbow,

He rides alone.

Icky come back,

We shed a tear,

For that Teddy bear,

We loved so dear.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

I, one night, had a dream.

¡¡

I, one night, had a dream,

That with God I did converse,

To inquire His divine scheme;

The answers are quite diverse.

Of our talk I will report,

Most of what was said,

But in order to keep things short,

I'II assume my questions read.

Our minds are too inferior,

To know of Gods nature true,

We have to use metaphor,

In order to construe.

Spirit is a different realm,

But woven into our fabric,

His majesty could overwhelm,

Without notions metaphoric.

Illustrate though metaphors do,

Limited are their illustrations,

Of insights they bring too few,

Like the light of a single candle.

For God 'tis surplus to look external,

You will find Him stationed within,

Seek not the stars to see the eternal,

It is our hearts wherein we begin.

Not with the light of knowledge,

But though the veil of faith,

We come at first to acknowledge,

That within is the spiritual place.

Doubt is often with us,

But for miracles we must not ask,

To support our frail consensus,

And make easier our earthly task.

Science asks what and how?

But never the reason why;

There comes a wrinkle to the brow,

Of professors as they sigh.

A sign of divine exposition?

Would a scientists reason debase?

He offers a 'natural' explanation.

The glory and bane of our race!

The deficiency in ourselves,

Is to cause others harm,

For therein evil dwells,

Which love alone disarms.

¡¡For love is not an object,

Possessing a tangible face,

To our material senses not subject,

Our heart is its¡¯ nesting place.

Your heart is the lamp,

To your heart be true,

Lest a lie does stamp,

And snuff the flame in you.

God is not at all hidden,

You do not have to look far,

Allow your heart to unharden,

Inside you will find your star.

All are welcome to the feast!

Though only receivers will be fed,

Like flour through needed yeast,

Will the word of the God be spread.

Let not your conduct dissipate,

With drunkenness and anxieties,

Let your heart conquer the weight,

And enjoy all natural varieties.

Give without estimating,

What you can receive in return,

Joy is in the giving:

The unconditional concern.

Awake from dreams whisper,

The sound of your lovers voice,

Gently turn and deeply kiss her,

And with love, both rejoice.

Peace follows grief,

After night the dawn;

Like a mother¡¯s relief,

When her babe is born.

The intention of our Lord,

Be sure before you rest,

Listen to this simple word:

Life is not a test.

Allow not your attention to slip,

Every day give acknowledgement,

Be always ready by deed or lip,

For the day of your last judgement.

And, the question you upon wait.

Why does God allow suffering?

The answer is simple, but sublime:

Of human will, He waived his governing,

And natural ills are no crime.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡¡¡

Rush Hour.

 

Hold it.

Not yet.

Watch Clock,

Tick Tock,

Numb scuffle,

Tired muffle,

Tick Tock, tick -

Whistle blow, let's go!

I'm away, end of day,

Must rush, beat the crush,

New lift, very swift,

Sweaty heat, Dusty street,

Clean shirt, city dirt,

Loud noise, traffic toys,

Station gate, porter hate,

Show pass, silly arse,

Mass hive, train arrive,

Grab a place, any space,

Door bolt, train jolt,

Pick up speed, have a read,

Torn a page, middle age,

Small print, eyes squint,

Sandwich eater, meter beater,

Keep apace, rat race,

Supersonic, hypersonic,

Train streak, don't speak,

Own flat, don't chat,

Live alone, don't phone,

People pelt, nothing felt,

Crowd skim, mind swim,

Legs slip, heart rip,

Headlong, not strong,

To small, must fall,

Flat out, must shout,

Stop!

¡¡

¡¡

 

¡¡

For What Reason?

For what reason do we struggle?

For what path?

Is it because of others,

That we adopt our narrow fate,

Or is it that we are just awkward,

And wish to upset the craft?

There are men, who, to me, seem to have it easy;

In my head that is.

They don't, and nor should I

If I wish to make a return,

For what God gave me,

Then all I have to do is this

Face whatever life has to offer,

Again and again,

Not be coded by the abyss of depression,

Nor seek solace from the sky;

Not for me those myths

That I so tenderly nurture

Until my eyes run dry.

We struggle because we have to,

And no one knows the reason why.

Least me.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

 

Misunderstandings Cure.

¡¡

Why isn't she here?

She's having a beer?

What about her promise?

I'm going to take this?

I don't want to row;

She's being a cow!

My blood's on the boil;

She's trouble and toil!

Just how does she feel?

Is her love real?

My mind's in a whirl!

How I love that girl!

I¡¯ll write her a note

To keep love afloat;

Now I'll worry,

Why doesn¡¯t she hurry!

I start to panic,

My heart's frantic,

My emotions soar,

What's the score?

Her attention is scant,

I've a right to rant!

Suddenly! she's here!

I'm feeling all queer.

Hold on to me, quick!

I've made myself sick,

My heart is insecure.

There's only one cure.

Say you love me,

Say you love me,

Say you love me!

¡¡

¡¡¡¡

I Twisted My Back.

I twisted my back this very day;

But as painful as it might be

All my real pain is far away,

And I'm happy to be alone with me.

I walk with back bent;

A position adopted to alleviate,

The frustrations often sent,

To comfort man with a mate.

It is at times like this that I often wish,

That I had no girlfriend or wife,

To hinder my attempt to vanquish,

Everyday trouble and strife.

For so often it is easy to forget,

How unnecessary a true mate is,

When we are fit and rarely fret,

We can do without an unfaithful kiss.

Sometimes we get the backache

To remind us how venerable we are

In the face of eternal fate;

How much we do not need a true soul mate.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

A PILLOW BACKED ARMCHAIR.

¡¡

A pillow backed armchair,

By a blazing hearth,

Breathing deep,

Inducing sleep,

The sound of clocks.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock,

Whispering to dusty shelves.

An old woman sits unlived.

Her dreams unfold

In letters of gold,

From the pages between

The covers of books.

Times pass,

Page turns,

Life burns,

Out.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

Unfinished Sex Verse

¡¡

Mellow sings the violin

And heart strings follow verse,

As rosy lips sweet songs allow

The unzipping of her dress.

Her parted mouth whispers

Promises of further delight,

Between the slopes and hungry swell,

As moon infuses night.

She stretched in extended lure,

With satin on her dressed,

Which, magnetised by visiting heat,

Sparks static when caressed.

 

 

 

A Fairground At Night

A cascade of colours, a glissade of sights;

Yellow, gold, blue, red and whites!

A dirty looking urchin with a snotty nose,

Black hair brown eyes and hand-me-down clothes,

Stood spellbound at the hypnotic sight,

Of a fairground lit up against the backdrop of night.

People cheering illuminate with life,

There's dad, my brother and Dorothy his wife!

Pulling dad's hand, "Come on let's run!

Something might happen and we¡¯ll miss all the fun.

Look at the brilliant catapulting flares

Of the hurling, whirling, twirling chairs!

Plenty here to trill and delight,

Let's have a go! Hold on to me tight!

Around and around we pitch and we lob,

Worth every penny of a couple of bob.

Dad's won four prizes on the penny-a-roll;

Ten Woodbine, two teddies and a goldfish bowl.

My eyes full of sights, my nose full of smells,

I float of a sea of coconut shells.

Breathless with thrill, my head¡¯s in the sky!

There's the big Wheel; let's all have a try!

We're on our way now, increasing in height!

Is this how it feels to be souring in flight?

The Fair from up here is a chest full of treasure,

Diamonds of thrills and emeralds of pleasure.

Laughing and waving as I look down,

Brilliance and brightness wave back from the ground.

Our cloud skimming transport begins to descend,

Warm exhilaration from beginning to end.

Hey, look over there! A coconut shy!

Dad, your a good shot. Oh, do have a try!

One shot, that's two and that one makes three.

The forth did the trick! A coconut for me!

Merry-go-rounds and bump cars we ride,

From end to end, from side to side.

Candy floss and popcorn, such colourful food,

Eagerly eaten when in festival mood.

Crackle, bang, crack! There¡¯s a sudden hurrah!

The sky's full of lights - it's a fireworks display!

A sparkling flare of bright illumination,

A shimmering gleam of electrification;

Coloured starshells flame, flare and dance,

Glisten and glitter, and burn out in a glance.

The Oos and the Ahs of an electrified crowd,

The tingling sensation of laughing out loud!

The sky is a shower of twinkling snow,

A blink and a flicker, it's the end of the show.

Time to go home now. It was dad who had spoke;

Not yet! Oh no, you¡¯re making a joke!

Tugging my hand and pulling me away,

How can they leave we were feeling so gay?

A swoosh overhead it gives us a fright!

One last rocket, we gaze at the sight.

Looking up, leaning back, there's a sudden clonk!

A tramp's fallen over with his bottle of plonk.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

You Cantilevers that Turn.

You Cantilevers that turn on that special gate,

Be not sensible to him;

Let him earn his weight with his hands;

Blooded with metal shavings they be.

Iron and oar are his domain - so he says; But let us see.

Primordial crushing of the ninth degree cause this metal

I call me.

Cast to nothing, but shapeless block,

By gravity and glacial rock;

Buried for a billion years and compressed

by the destiny of lunarian night;

Here has been me - lost from sight.

Not breathing like you, bio-being;

But existing in elementary core;

The very stuff you use to build

Your pubs and pumps gaoler.

Come and get me Franky boy!

Come and get this oar!

Leave that liquid transparency,

Come share me every more.

¡¡

¡¡

 

Love's Surrogate.

Can music replace or replicate

The feelings I had for my love?

Can songs become a surrogate?

The statue for live dove?

Can melody become a substitute;

Become more real than fact?

Or does it merely prostitute

And atmosphere replaces act?

With lyrics do I fabulate?

Spin webs of delicious notation?

Chant airs that fail to recreate;

An illusion of loves confirmation?

Music strains the credible;

I continue my past to chase,

Hiding the unpalatable.

As music does reality erase.

Do songs that engender harmonic bliss,

When fact becomes untenable,

Cause me to remember the love I miss,

As her substance fades to invisible?

Can musical sentiment love supersede

And transference become complete,

When the song dislodges the singer,

And fantasy finds it's feet?

Is passion by music now engendered?

As here alone I wait,

And love itself becomes synthetic,

Detached from my once true mate?

Now, in music do I wallow

That sensual beat a fake,

Is all I feel merely hollow,

Like the swooning of a rake?

Can music to love be an assistant

And, though at first subservient,

Give support, in the first instant,

And by advocacy, become equivalent?

A song can often reconstitute

Love that routines dilute,

A heart that is now destitute,

Music can revive!

So, what in common have music and love?

It is that both elevate.

From the tedious we are lifted,

From the dispirited to the exalted!

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

Past lives

Changing me;

And thus changed

I change it.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

Sweet Inhibition!

Who would we harm, without thee.

¡¡

How incongruous is intention and act.

Never an awakening so rude as the unsuspected betrayal.

Nothing so chilly as the unacknowledged nod.

Only alone can I see

The wood surrounded by a tree.

If I were a king;

To heaven I'd taken all children.

Write all you will it will never replace the knowing glance replied.

The sudden and unintentional,

Combination of disparate chemicals

Mans chance is God's desire.

How wasted is time waiting for fame;

Better to seek infamy.

Hold thy childish dreams,

For they are thy treasure.

Emotions are like sheep

Led by insane ideas;

When spurred,

They stemmed like steers.

Like the planets around the sun;

We are all involved.

I went astray,

When I thought,

Am I dancing OK'

¡¡

¡¡

 

Courage Belongs

Courage belongs not only to soldiers and kings,

Not only to historical wars;

But also to the people who

Go their daily chores.

As when she upheld her dignity,

Against the liquored men;

Who allowed the drink to expose their bones

And reveal the malice within.

Big men they were, not short of strength,

She frail, though not thin,

Faced them like a tiger does

When protecting its next of kin.

Broad fists they had, fired by gin,

Or other substances unknown within;

That could have spurred their violence,

That could have sparked their blood,

That could have done her untold harm,

Undelibrate they'd say,

Once done.

Yet face them she did,

Her slender form came unarmed,

Neither with knife, nor gun;

But only a single appendage:

She fought them with her tongue.

But now she has won,

She excuses the act,

As something less than it was.

¡°I'm a woman, they would not have attacked"

As if that diminished

The fear she felt

As she crossed Urinal Square,

And confronted the drunks

Who angered her so,

For treating her staff unfair.

But fear or not,

It matters no jot,

The act is still the same,

Courage is born of actions,

So her excuses are terribly lame.

Courage belongs not only to soldiers and kings,

Not only to historical wars;

But also to the common folk

Who go their daily chores.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

INTEREST UNSOPHISTICATED.

¡¡

Only avoidance do her eyes seek,

Away from the study of men,

The stares that made her feel weak,

The first time too, back then.

When men did first explore

An unwanted desire brought

Scrutiny skulking across the floor;

She thinking it was her fault.

A regard that did not amuse,

As joy into frustration grew

She looked down, at her shoes

I persisted, to peruse.

Perusal, however, has an innocent air,

No harm intended, let us be fair.

An element of whimsy?

So, where comes the ailment?

Perhaps the malady is control?

The desire to make her menial,

I have no time for her soul,

As I magnify her external.

My interest solicits only flesh,

No council to her inner concern,

As anatomy my eyes do flash,

A refusal of her heart to discern.

Subject not merely to observation,

No aspect of disinterest here,

You cannot mask licentious inspection,

Especially that spurred by beer.

Alcohol engenders lascivious advance,

She would wish rather not occur,

But, better to tolerate an offensive glance,

Than carnal intentions to which I refer.

There is no wish to comprehend,

The nature of the her heart,

Only a hunger for her spine to bend,

And an urge for her thighs to part.

But there is a cut that deeper runs,

Nothing to do with carnal desire,

It is the way evaluation comes

With my prejudice, that brings despair.

With my look, an element of inquiry,

Implicit, an intention to judge,

And with that, she has cause to worry,

For I design her substance to smudge.

It is with interest unsophisticated,

With purpose of sexual sate,

Guided by procedures well established,

On how I dominate my human mate.

¡¡

¡¡

When I see light in my eye.

Which of the myriad stimuli

Do I most wish to see?

Why!

Eva.

Queen of the Dolphin scene.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡EVA

With shadows dripping from my wounded heart

My emotions the surface leaves

The tumbling clouds choke the Ocean

And the sea cannot lift it's shoulders.

Under the vault of heaven the keeper steps

Each strut ringing like

And the lightening doust flash like

the jangle of the jailers keys

And the prison o sings

Of love songs born of the moon

Envelop me in your silver beams

Wrap me forever in heavens swoon

Cloke me behind a mask of sentimentality.

Your eyes are like starlight

Your nose was fashioned in Egypt

Your mouth is formed out of wanderlust

Your neck is the steam of a flower;

At the horizon

Between day and night,

There on the rim of the world

Is a streak of light

Before the sun settles,

And the night is not yet born

There - is where your heart nestles Eva;

When at war men think of their loved ones,

And look up in to the sky,

It is not the night they see,

But the light in their girlfriends eye.

The soldiers tender hearts remain

For the lovers that they have lost,

And now - I, look out of the window

At the shadow of the moon

And I am just the same.

Eva, I love you

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

FOR MARSH. on her 49th

An Olimpic flame

On Island alone

Will dim;

But not be smothered.

Abolish not yet your flame;

Labour alone;

Palms outstreched:

Illumination yet!

Amounst us

Your now cloud will lighten:

Even the moon smiles

In her poorly lit comparision.

Repair Heart.

Gather your dress!

Hoist your sails!

Be beguiling

And enchant,

As you can.

Come back Marsha;

Even the moon has charisma!

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

Like Salmon

¡¡

A Movie Hero

I've wanted to be,

Reach for the Sun

And burnt.

My dreams cinders,

My heart ash.

Unrealistic boy;

Allowing dreams

To hinder

Ordinary progression.

Disproportionate!

Reach beyond

My arm?

Like Icuirus?

Ration hope,

Come to earth.

Be safe

In routine.

Reality,

That's me.

But the cinders breathe,

And dreams return,

Like Salmon.

 

¡¡

Engage activity

Disengage timidity

If your attention you divert

Apprehension you convert!

Get free of trepidation

Activate some small divertion

Divert the cause of your tremours

To somehting that amuses

Alert. Assert.

Expectations

We expect;

And are let down;

And then anger!

Why?

So, there's no one there

At the time we want.

Are you, (me)

Always there?

¡¡

¡¡

No.

So.

Rational Explanations,

Don't help.

It's called The Condition.

The Human Condition.

A tiger doesn't expect friends to be there;

A baboon doesn't expect;

A stone doesn't do it - a flower doesn't need to.

But we do.

Expect.

Expectation.

Only one answer.

¡¡

To

See it all through;

Even though there's no answer;

Love your bothers and sisters

Even when your heart blisters.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

The Best Irish Girl.

With hair as black as the devils soul

And skin as white as an angels wing,

She gleams as bright as a blooded hole

¡¡

Explosions here have no role

The way she handles a man's remark

She slaps her thigh 'n leaves him dark

She takes no trash from friend or foe

If he hollers - she let's him go!

A blade of grass makes her scream

She's the one who created mean

I have no time to say any more

She's the best Irish girl I've ever saw.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

Quick clouds awash

Quick clouds awash

With warm breezes

And hot sand welcomes

A stranger.

The water falls with colours

And the surf kisses

My cufflinks.

¡¡¡¡

Light bifracts

Between wet sheets

And I am drowned

Once more.

Saturated in drink

Footprints dripping

I stumble too...

¡¡

¡¡

Clare's 21st Birthday

Out of sight

But not unseen

Claire;

Any families Queen.

A diamond smile;

A heart of gold;

A fella's dream;

But not yet told.

Brown hair, bright eyes;

Like clouds and sun;

Go seek different skies,

Now you are twenty-one.

¡¡

I went socializing!

But found no equal

Which is not suprizing

As I went to the Egale.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

The Sun comforts me not,

Nor the starry sky,

Only a friendly voice

And a hand held

Can diminish my despaire.

Wishful thinking is not enough

Now that I have everything,

Neither people, not pets

Can comfort my seperatness.

At my end, pour my ashes

Down the drain,

There is no special place

All is ruined by betrayal.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

Best dead

Than this emptiness

Day after day.

The nights are better

When I dream,

Without conscious state.

At least in dreams,

Even the nigty mears,

I am unawear

Of my loneliness.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

No courage to call a possible friend,

A woman I think might be true,

No attempt is possible,

When I¡¯m interminable blue.

Fear of rejection remains as strong,

Even when rejection can get no worse.

Let me die,

And exist no more,

Too painful is life,

When racked by isolation.

Paralysed by doubt

And that other obstruction

Despaire.

I have been loved

But obviously not truly

Only temporarily,

When it suited you.

Care not, like I

My punishment

Has come

Oh if only temporarily.

I feel stif

With the tension

Of sleeping.

I will drink forever

Untill the cutain falls

And I am blessed by death.

And let us hope that is

The end of us, no dreams

No awearness after that, no

Cowerdice, no fear, no hopeless love.

Brake my bones

It would be better

Than this.

The worst demond is a child compared.

¡¡

All work done

I expected happiness

What am I left with?

Anger.

No, not even that moves

No bodily air can insigate

Humour, nor contentment

I¡¯m doomed to failure.

By chemicals in my brain

Or without what is necessary

To allow semblence

Of humanity.

Where by night gos

The winged prayer

That touches wreatched

People, it has touched me not.

At the moment not even drink

Can free me into fools paradice

Any paradice will do

And beyond that the void

Emotions bite like reptitles

Eat my inner dwealling

Now forever alone

All love fled.

¡¡

¡¡

 

A Drinkers Lament

¡¡

¡¡

It is not that vodka relieves loneliness,

For I drink it and I am still alone.

Nevertheless, it gives me a sense of wholeness,

As I forever gaze at my silent 'phone.

Relief comes quick

After another week of pretending;

Which makes me sick.

After a lifetime befriending.

Much is made of goodness,

That it is right to care.

Given over to selflessness;

Yet, into the air I stare.

Vodka has no face;

No friendly smile;

Yet, it can replace

Love - for a while.

¡¡

¡¡

A LAST ROMANTIC TEAR.

¡¡

Night outside my cell window,

Blown about by wind screams,

A snowflake, sky downwards fell.

Away from the stars,

It blew through the bars,

Bright, in my life shed

It flew.

Dreamward down,

It deepened down,

Down to my dead watch lie.

Until, at last it settled,

Upon my open eye.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡As at my mind I rake

I want to shout and scream!

So lonely am I.

I am not what I seem

To the clouds by and by.

Grasp that hidden fact!

My inhibitions have!

So, what gain is my act?

If at myself, I stab?

Knock at my neigbours door?

Alternatively, call a Brother?

I am such a bore!

Where is that women other?

Believe my pain

For it is not fake.

I do remain sane,

As at my mind I rake

¡¡

 

PRISON

The screeching squeak of click clunk locks turning,

The shrill brassy hum of naked bulbs burning.

The manacle and pinion of plastic utencils,

The jealous possession of tooth marked lead pencils.

Callous bark ¨C brutal voice,

Vindictive remark ¨C hostile choice.

Authority is lock and key,

Dejection is control,

Refusal and rejection

Are the eaters of the soul.

Restrain, hold back, check and curb,

Decline, turn down and begrudge,

Oppression is the prison bar,

The warders¡¯ whim the judge.

Imprison, curfew, keep in, detain,

Constrict, clamp and confine,

Arrest and muzzle the prisoner¡¯s thoughts,

Cramp the imaginative mind.

The metal stairs gloat

At the celibate sound

Of a fat mans nervous bravardo,

Listen to the flutter,

The tremor and qualms

Of the tough guy¡¯s physical cargo.

Captive and keeper,

Prisoner and guard,

Eye each other

In exercise yard.

Queue for your dinner,

Queue for your grub,

Queue to bash the warders¡¯ teeth

Now undressed in gleaming blood.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

Be Thyself!

¡¡

Each individuals world,

Grasped by blind experience

Gained yet never held

Slips into obliviance.

Smothered by others,

Who know better;

Taught by mothers

And writer's letters.

All teachers rot!

We have no resemblance

Graves no not

Nor men of relevance.

All hearts belong

To their own company!

And their individual song

Despite measured empathy!

To be thyself!

The hardest quest!

Leave on heavens shelf

The Intelligence test!

 

 

 

You abide as my hearts delight,

But your choice is concluded;

And my voice mute:

As silent, as a hive at night.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡