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POEMS
HOME INBRIEF BLOG TOWN KROWDON STELLA
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To those times no more
From the past some people emerge;
They come timidly knocking uninvited;
But with what motivation - what urge?
Could it be that their lives are blighted?
Friendships culled from bottles now defunct;
In sobriety relations unable to sustain;
Associations once endured whilst drunk
Now gone - like evaporated rain.
With faces that echo past drinking time
And chatter grown inane,
They sit like cellars scrubbed of wine,
Waiting to replenish past liaisons, in vain.
But what prompts their onerous visit?
Neither friendship, nor pleasant nostalgia;
Nor the courtesy of neighbourly habit;
No, nothing subject to amiable criteria;
Only an undue desire to re-establish
A former, best forgotten association;
Now dead - thrown out along with the rubbish
Not belonging in our present situation.
So, people who belong to a different age,
With politeness escort to the door
And let them return to their self-made cage:
We wish a return, to those times no more.
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My shoes will never last the week
My shoes will never last the week;
They've begun to squeak,
Because of the leak,
In the sole
Where the hole is.
Dark sky.
Rain again.
The machine stitching
Is coming undone,
And the leather has a withered, weathered look,
Which is not at all pleasing to the eye.
Worn heels.
Wet socks.
My shoes will never last the week.
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Thoughts with a Hamlet
To drink or not to drink?
That is the question.
Whether it be nobler in the mind
To serve tea instead of grog
And by temperance be sober.
To refrain, to abstain once more,
And by abstinence
To say we end the tipsification
And the thousand natural Ales
That the flesh is alcohol to.
It is intoxication
Devoutly to be swallowed:
To refuse, to restrain, yes!
To restrain perchance to abstain?
But pale ale - there's the pub!
For in that abstinence from drink,
What sober deliriums may come
When we have soaked off
The midnight brew
Must give us hops.
And there's the hops that makes alcohol
Of this Long Life.
For who would bare the abstained
And the anti-drink campaigner;
The pangs of moderation;
The insolence of short measure;
And the thought that a man
Might his destiny change,
With a large vodka and lemonade.
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Marriage Vow
I know we've had a lot of troubles,
A lot of ups and downs,
When hot uncertainty bubbles,
And cold doubt provides the frowns.
From now no more explorations,
No more anxious nights alone,
Neither threats, nor protestations,
That made unhappiness the tone.
Let us now make love protected,
Let us now make love secure,
Let family and friends be affected,
And make our marriage pure.
At last we have each other,
At last our ideal is found,
From now let love be our mother,
And, our father - trust profound.
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If I too be nailed?
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I am sapped by depression.
What has lowered me?
Is it awful contrition?
But, why should I be penitent?
Did He not atone for me?
Why put me upon the rack?
What point His crucifixion,
If I too, be nailed
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God does not speak
With thunder and lighting;
Nor sudden appearances;
But, with metaphore
And silent coincidence
Blind Sight
Always out, I look,
Seeking physical elation,
In the drugged cup
In sexual relation.
In pursuit of fun
Every weekend,
Yet what do I get
For the money I spend?
Neither sanity, nor sex;
But empty talk.
What else do I expect,
On my staggered walk?
I desperately seek
A more sober life,
Only to find in sobriety
A vacuous strife.
Using booze as fuel
How bright I shine!
Yet still the fool
In the morrow time.
I prostitute my soul
In the pursuit of pleasure;
Yet never find
The comfort I treasure.
New faces and places
Ever I leave home,
Only to find repetition
Wherever I roam
Even wealth and fame
Can bring despair,
Of love and care.
Ever out must I look
Beyond my skin?
Or come back to that,
The spirit within.
True Soul Mates
Nothing seems to go right for us
No matter how we try,
Always at cross purposes,
And at each other fly.
Fighting like cockerels - like hawks!
And then embrace like cats on heat,
Clutching and a mewing
And licking each other's feet.
And so it is with my love and I,
Both to proud to agree,
And all our desires go awry,
In our similarity.
We wound and scar each other's hearts,
With curses at our fate;
That now in love we can never part,
We have found our true soul mate.
For in our ways we are difficult
To live with side by side;
We swear, we sigh - and then insult!
Yet, still our love abides.
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Lost Moon
Wherever will I find another?
A lover that brought me such joy;
Yet often my thoughts did smother,
And more often than not annoy.
A presence that did burn
In my life every day.
Heartache did I deliberately earn,
When I gave in every way?
Could I have been so mistaken?
About her love for me?
Doubt often left me shaken,
And thus wounded I would flee.
But always back I came,
And always so did she,
To return to more of the same;
The glory and bane of we.
Mooning and swooning in each other's arms;
Up to heaven we were lifted,
Melting in the others charms,
So often have we drifted.
Up above and over the Sun,
Beyond the breast of stars!
Between our legs the wax did run
When all moon was ours.
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I am a single man
I am a single man!
I shout it with pride;
An autominous individual,
With nothing at all to hide.
Independent I travel,
In separateness unique,
I hold aloft me,
This mantle of mystique.
I want to be separate;
I need to be a recluse;
To hank on another shoulder,
Would be a lame excuse.
Sovereignty is my tailor;
Yes - I'm a well dressed dude,
Which casual association
Can only strip and denude.
A bachelor unconnected,
With Matron or Maid;
A spinster would confound me!
And Ladies, I evade.
I've chosen a priesthood;
That suits me particular;
Though I do have my doubts,
And hope I'm not parculiar?
For often I get lonely,
Dispite my resolve;
And then, my beliefs,
How quickly they dissolve
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We talk till the birds awake
And then what have we said,
A long uncontrolled shigh
Better we had gone to bed.
Why is it when I hold you
My arms speak louder than words
And your faint heartbeat
Is the rhythm of worlds
Must I forever impress you
With my vacous charms
Always spilling the glue
Between the night and stars
Now the morn arises
And still we gabble
We will end up in the azises
If we run with the rabble.
Yes let me tell you that you are the one for me
If I am not true then you intitalled to run
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Hard God
You talk of tenderness.
I EAT SOULS.
You talk of compassion.
I CHEW MENS HEARTS.
You cry - Love! I SET FIRE TO THE UNIVERSE.
Look, you cry.
Don't cry.
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I do not hear your laughter
I do not hear
nor see your glare;
nor feel your pain.
My pain is the loss of material things,
My regret is that all my work has been in vain,
My pain is the simple pain of homesickness.
Your pain is much deeper;
It is the pain of a predator who's claws are not long enough;
It is the pain of a snake who's venom can not kill;
It is the pain of a ghost who cannot haunt.
Material things can be replaced;
Work can build another home;
I will recover from my sickness.
But your claws will never caress;
Your venom will never redeem;
And your apparition will never delight.
When you snarl - I smile;
When you spit - I kiss;
When you hate - I forgive¡¡
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I am so much in love with Her
I terribly miss her
Why does she hate me?
I did not desert her
I did not betray her
I left because I was afraid.
I awake and sadness overwhelms me
My banishment makes me tremble
I consider suicide.
Life without her is empty
Vacant of purpose
A bright wrapped present with nothing inside
A disappointment.
What day is it?
That boy she has taken up with
She is with him
She misses me not. I am not there.
Only the traces of what I used to be.
There I have become - a ghost.
And here I am shell, empty.
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Our son will be a good man,
He will strike down evil
He will be graced,
He will know the difference.
Linda,
He will have your eyes and my hair;
He will be bright and funny;
He will jump and roll;
He will sleep with us,
When he is afraid,
And we will hold him.
He will be proud of us,
And we will show him what love is,
And then he will be true.
Our daughter will have your mouth,
And my smile;
She will dress as her mother dresses
And she will break hearts;
As her mother did.
But then one day she will meet her man,
As you did.
She will come to us for help,
And we will be there.
She will understand that not all men are selfish.
She will be beautiful,
And we will take care of her.
You will talk to her as I cannot.
You will teach her to flash her eyes,
And I will teach her what philosophers said;
You will wipe her nose,
And I will show her what an elephant is.
We will make love on her wedding day,
And I will give you the ring I never did.
And I will love you until the day I die.
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With Loss Openly Deal
Acknowledge the loss of a loved one,
Face the truth before you go on,
What if.?..speculations leave wisely alone,
Of companions - take courage as the one.
Accept your pain as normal,
There is nothing absurd about loss,
With all other humans you are equal,
You knew when enough was enough.
She exercised too much mischief,
And your heart became weak,
You felt alone in your grief,
But this hour need not be bleak.
Though her shadow is still cast,
Steel and call forth grit,
Do not slip back into the past,
With determined breath say, "I quit!"
Pain will pass, but do not run,
Easy does the experience,
Drift with the clouds toward the sun,
Leisurely build your confidence.
Use your pain to motivate,
And form a new resolve,
To change the past it is too late,
Let the future evolve.
Give yourself permission to feel,
Do not your emotions confine,
With your loss openly deal,
Write, talk, cry out every line.
For failure is never final,
From darkest night comes dawn,
Sadness and joy measure in equal,
Let love your grief transform.
Realise the power of self-talk,
It is you, who can convince,
It is best to stand and walk,
With head held high like a prince.
Repeat every day your personal prayer,
That you are worthwhile and will win,
Not as an observer; but as a member,
All happiness starts from within.
Choose your thoughts carefully,
Do not always think about thee,
Never dwell with negativity,
Centre on the person to be.
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Do what you can for another¡¯s sake
That always advances dignity.
To seek and ease another¡¯s ache,
Will set your inner self free.
Always take care of your health,
Work hard, but rest sufficiently,
A body fit is worth more than wealth,
And magnifies possibility
What you do is up to you,
Be a responsible thinker,
All your choices carefully review,
Be your own saviour.
Of the past now let go,
Never into it retreat,
If in your resolve you are too slow,
Your mistakes you will repeat.
Allow your hatred to dissolve,
For about forgiveness realise this:
Its purpose is not others to absolve,
But for your heartache to diminish.
Be aware of your venerability,
Know that a new love can wait,
Solitude gives strength to ability,
As you seek a new soul mate.
Take charge of your emotions,
Face loneliness head on,
Find peace with wise devotions,
And never hope abandon.
Oh God, face me with the truth,
About myself let reality be known,
Let gone the illusions of my youth,
And my judgement become fully-grown.
In Linda's Eyes
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In Linda¡¯s eyes,
I will tell you what I see,
That which causes my heart to rise,
And my sense of purpose to be.
Wide, open and round,
As playful as a child,
Pools in which I drown,
Immersed in mosture mild.
Eyes as bright as gold,
Shine like gleaming spheres,
The petals of my heart unfold,
As I rise in atmospheres.
Up where misty clouds do swash,
My spirit drifts enchanted,
Swimming in the warmest wash,
Of her sweet and tender glances.
Upon the edge of a turtle shell,
Her tears roam free,
Her eyes brightly well,
On the brim of a light blue sea.
Beaming with curiosity,
Her mind for all things to know,
Wisdom has only one recipe,
That refection is best when slow.
She senses the ridiculous,
Of all the ups and downs,
She is herself hilarious,
When she smiles away my frowns.
Her eyes have wisdom,
When shining forth at times,
She allows her thoughts to blossom,
And her insights are sublime.
But oft she wears a look unsure,
A look that's plagued with doubt,
Love, for her, is the only cure,
Without it she has, but nowt!
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Loves Rage
All threats said, are now done;
Where fear consumes, love lingers;
Though all the hate, love has won;
As tears weep past our fingers,
Neither malice; nor anger has induced,
A withering of our affection;
Nor despair, nor drink has reduced,
Our love to affectation
We are back together again.
Like holding hostage?
No, love does remain;
Both hearts within the cage.
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Jade Moon
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Reflections of Jade upon the moon,
Or jewels scattered in blood,
Did we arrive in heaven too soon?
And found velvet only mud?
Where between excess and balance,
Can we find a place?
Somewhere in the distance,
An end to this sexual race?
Why can't again I be swept!
By the waves upon her lips;
With my pride held erect,
Between the swaying of her hips
When boils passion uncontrolled,
Only pain can enter,
For where she has truly strolled,
I have no idea whatever.
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Why can't love forever abide,
Without consuming my soul?
Where gone has my bride?
Now, I will never know.
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Where's Icky Gone?
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Where's Icky gone?
We've searched high and low,
The whole place from
Top to toe.
Under the beds,
In cupboards and draws,
Behind the chairs,
There's no place more.
Beside the window,
Was the last place seen?
I wish I could say.
We knew where he's been.
But we don't know
And it makes us sad,
For the loss of Icky,
A teddy we had.
Perhaps on the wind,
Out the window he's flown,
And on a rainbow,
He rides alone.
Icky come back,
We shed a tear,
For that Teddy bear,
We loved so dear.
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I, one night, had a dream.
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I, one night, had a dream,
That with God I did converse,
To inquire His divine scheme;
The answers are quite diverse.
Of our talk I will report,
Most of what was said,
But in order to keep things short,
I'II assume my questions read.
Our minds are too inferior,
To know of Gods nature true,
We have to use metaphor,
In order to construe.
Spirit is a different realm,
But woven into our fabric,
His majesty could overwhelm,
Without notions metaphoric.
Illustrate though metaphors do,
Limited are their illustrations,
Of insights they bring too few,
Like the light of a single candle.
For God 'tis surplus to look external,
You will find Him stationed within,
Seek not the stars to see the eternal,
It is our hearts wherein we begin.
Not with the light of knowledge,
But though the veil of faith,
We come at first to acknowledge,
That within is the spiritual place.
Doubt is often with us,
But for miracles we must not ask,
To support our frail consensus,
And make easier our earthly task.
Science asks what and how?
But never the reason why;
There comes a wrinkle to the brow,
Of professors as they sigh.
A sign of divine exposition?
Would a scientists reason debase?
He offers a 'natural' explanation.
The glory and bane of our race!
The deficiency in ourselves,
Is to cause others harm,
For therein evil dwells,
Which love alone disarms.
¡¡For love is not an object,
Possessing a tangible face,
To our material senses not subject,
Our heart is its¡¯ nesting place.
Your heart is the lamp,
To your heart be true,
Lest a lie does stamp,
And snuff the flame in you.
God is not at all hidden,
You do not have to look far,
Allow your heart to unharden,
Inside you will find your star.
All are welcome to the feast!
Though only receivers will be fed,
Like flour through needed yeast,
Will the word of the God be spread.
Let not your conduct dissipate,
With drunkenness and anxieties,
Let your heart conquer the weight,
And enjoy all natural varieties.
Give without estimating,
What you can receive in return,
Joy is in the giving:
The unconditional concern.
Awake from dreams whisper,
The sound of your lovers voice,
Gently turn and deeply kiss her,
And with love, both rejoice.
Peace follows grief,
After night the dawn;
Like a mother¡¯s relief,
When her babe is born.
The intention of our Lord,
Be sure before you rest,
Listen to this simple word:
Life is not a test.
Allow not your attention to slip,
Every day give acknowledgement,
Be always ready by deed or lip,
For the day of your last judgement.
And, the question you upon wait.
Why does God allow suffering?
The answer is simple, but sublime:
Of human will, He waived his governing,
And natural ills are no crime.
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Rush Hour.
Hold it.
Not yet.
Watch Clock,
Tick Tock,
Numb scuffle,
Tired muffle,
Tick Tock, tick -
Whistle blow, let's go!
I'm away, end of day,
Must rush, beat the crush,
New lift, very swift,
Sweaty heat, Dusty street,
Clean shirt, city dirt,
Loud noise, traffic toys,
Station gate, porter hate,
Show pass, silly arse,
Mass hive, train arrive,
Grab a place, any space,
Door bolt, train jolt,
Pick up speed, have a read,
Torn a page, middle age,
Small print, eyes squint,
Sandwich eater, meter beater,
Keep apace, rat race,
Supersonic, hypersonic,
Train streak, don't speak,
Own flat, don't chat,
Live alone, don't phone,
People pelt, nothing felt,
Crowd skim, mind swim,
Legs slip, heart rip,
Headlong, not strong,
To small, must fall,
Flat out, must shout,
Stop!
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For What Reason?
For what reason do we struggle?
For what path?
Is it because of others,
That we adopt our narrow fate,
Or is it that we are just awkward,
And wish to upset the craft?
There are men, who, to me, seem to have it easy;
In my head that is.
They don't, and nor should I
If I wish to make a return,
For what God gave me,
Then all I have to do is this
Face whatever life has to offer,
Again and again,
Not be coded by the abyss of depression,
Nor seek solace from the sky;
Not for me those myths
That I so tenderly nurture
Until my eyes run dry.
We struggle because we have to,
And no one knows the reason why.
Least me.
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Misunderstandings Cure.
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Why isn't she here?
She's having a beer?
What about her promise?
I'm going to take this?
I don't want to row;
She's being a cow!
My blood's on the boil;
She's trouble and toil!
Just how does she feel?
Is her love real?
My mind's in a whirl!
How I love that girl!
I¡¯ll write her a note
To keep love afloat;
Now I'll worry,
Why doesn¡¯t she hurry!
I start to panic,
My heart's frantic,
My emotions soar,
What's the score?
Her attention is scant,
I've a right to rant!
Suddenly! she's here!
I'm feeling all queer.
Hold on to me, quick!
I've made myself sick,
My heart is insecure.
There's only one cure.
Say you love me,
Say you love me,
Say you love me!
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I Twisted My Back.
I twisted my back this very day;
But as painful as it might be
All my real pain is far away,
And I'm happy to be alone with me.
I walk with back bent;
A position adopted to alleviate,
The frustrations often sent,
To comfort man with a mate.
It is at times like this that I often wish,
That I had no girlfriend or wife,
To hinder my attempt to vanquish,
Everyday trouble and strife.
For so often it is easy to forget,
How unnecessary a true mate is,
When we are fit and rarely fret,
We can do without an unfaithful kiss.
Sometimes we get the backache
To remind us how venerable we are
In the face of eternal fate;
How much we do not need a true soul mate.
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A PILLOW BACKED ARMCHAIR .
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A pillow backed armchair,
By a blazing hearth,
Breathing deep,
Inducing sleep,
The sound of clocks.
Tick Tock, Tick Tock,
Whispering to dusty shelves.
An old woman sits unlived.
Her dreams unfold
In letters of gold,
From the pages between
The covers of books.
Times pass,
Page turns,
Life burns,
Out.
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Unfinished Sex Verse
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Mellow sings the violin
And heart strings follow verse,
As rosy lips sweet songs allow
The unzipping of her dress.
Her parted mouth whispers
Promises of further delight,
Between the slopes and hungry swell,
As moon infuses night.
She stretched in extended lure,
With satin on her dressed,
Which, magnetised by visiting heat,
Sparks static when caressed.
A Fairground At Night
A cascade of colours, a glissade of sights;
Yellow, gold, blue, red and whites!
A dirty looking urchin with a snotty nose,
Black hair brown eyes and hand-me-down clothes,
Stood spellbound at the hypnotic sight,
Of a fairground lit up against the backdrop of night.
People cheering illuminate with life,
There's dad, my brother and Dorothy his wife!
Pulling dad's hand, "Come on let's run!
Something might happen and we¡¯ll miss all the fun.
Look at the brilliant catapulting flares
Of the hurling, whirling, twirling chairs!
Plenty here to trill and delight,
Let's have a go! Hold on to me tight!
Around and around we pitch and we lob,
Worth every penny of a couple of bob.
Dad's won four prizes on the penny-a-roll;
Ten Woodbine, two teddies and a goldfish bowl.
My eyes full of sights, my nose full of smells,
I float of a sea of coconut shells.
Breathless with thrill, my head¡¯s in the sky!
There's the big Wheel; let's all have a try!
We're on our way now, increasing in height!
Is this how it feels to be souring in flight?
The Fair from up here is a chest full of treasure,
Diamonds of thrills and emeralds of pleasure.
Laughing and waving as I look down,
Brilliance and brightness wave back from the ground.
Our cloud skimming transport begins to descend,
Warm exhilaration from beginning to end.
Hey, look over there! A coconut shy!
Dad, your a good shot. Oh, do have a try!
One shot, that's two and that one makes three.
The forth did the trick! A coconut for me!
Merry-go-rounds and bump cars we ride,
From end to end, from side to side.
Candy floss and popcorn, such colourful food,
Eagerly eaten when in festival mood.
Crackle, bang, crack! There¡¯s a sudden hurrah!
The sky's full of lights - it's a fireworks display!
A sparkling flare of bright illumination,
A shimmering gleam of electrification;
Coloured starshells flame, flare and dance,
Glisten and glitter, and burn out in a glance.
The Oos and the Ahs of an electrified crowd,
The tingling sensation of laughing out loud!
The sky is a shower of twinkling snow,
A blink and a flicker, it's the end of the show.
Time to go home now. It was dad who had spoke;
Not yet! Oh no, you¡¯re making a joke!
Tugging my hand and pulling me away,
How can they leave we were feeling so gay?
A swoosh overhead it gives us a fright!
One last rocket, we gaze at the sight.
Looking up, leaning back, there's a sudden clonk!
A tramp's fallen over with his bottle of plonk.
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You Cantilevers that Turn.
You Cantilevers that turn on that special gate,
Be not sensible to him;
Let him earn his weight with his hands;
Blooded with metal shavings they be.
Iron and oar are his domain - so he says; But let us see.
Primordial crushing of the ninth degree cause this metal
I call me.
Cast to nothing, but shapeless block,
By gravity and glacial rock;
Buried for a billion years and compressed
by the destiny of lunarian night;
Here has been me - lost from sight.
Not breathing like you, bio-being;
But existing in elementary core;
The very stuff you use to build
Your pubs and pumps gaoler.
Come and get me Franky boy!
Come and get this oar!
Leave that liquid transparency,
Come share me every more.
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Love's Surrogate.
Can music replace or replicate
The feelings I had for my love?
Can songs become a surrogate?
The statue for live dove?
Can melody become a substitute;
Become more real than fact?
Or does it merely prostitute
And atmosphere replaces act?
With lyrics do I fabulate?
Spin webs of delicious notation?
Chant airs that fail to recreate;
An illusion of loves confirmation?
Music strains the credible;
I continue my past to chase,
Hiding the unpalatable.
As music does reality erase.
Do songs that engender harmonic bliss,
When fact becomes untenable,
Cause me to remember the love I miss,
As her substance fades to invisible?
Can musical sentiment love supersede
And transference become complete,
When the song dislodges the singer,
And fantasy finds it's feet?
Is passion by music now engendered?
As here alone I wait,
And love itself becomes synthetic,
Detached from my once true mate?
Now, in music do I wallow
That sensual beat a fake,
Is all I feel merely hollow,
Like the swooning of a rake?
Can music to love be an assistant
And, though at first subservient,
Give support, in the first instant,
And by advocacy, become equivalent?
A song can often reconstitute
Love that routines dilute,
A heart that is now destitute,
Music can revive!
So, what in common have music and love?
It is that both elevate.
From the tedious we are lifted,
From the dispirited to the exalted!
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Past lives
Changing me;
And thus changed
I change it.
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Sweet Inhibition!
Who would we harm, without thee.
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How incongruous is intention and act.
Never an awakening so rude as the unsuspected betrayal.
Nothing so chilly as the unacknowledged nod.
Only alone can I see
The wood surrounded by a tree.
If I were a king;
To heaven I'd taken all children.
Write all you will it will never replace the knowing glance replied.
The sudden and unintentional,
Combination of disparate chemicals
Mans chance is God's desire.
How wasted is time waiting for fame;
Better to seek infamy.
Hold thy childish dreams,
For they are thy treasure.
Emotions are like sheep
Led by insane ideas;
When spurred,
They stemmed like steers.
Like the planets around the sun;
We are all involved.
I went astray,
When I thought,
Am I dancing OK'
¡¡
¡¡
Courage Belongs
Courage belongs not only to soldiers and kings,
Not only to historical wars;
But also to the people who
Go their daily chores.
As when she upheld her dignity,
Against the liquored men;
Who allowed the drink to expose their bones
And reveal the malice within.
Big men they were, not short of strength,
She frail, though not thin,
Faced them like a tiger does
When protecting its next of kin.
Broad fists they had, fired by gin,
Or other substances unknown within;
That could have spurred their violence,
That could have sparked their blood,
That could have done her untold harm,
Undelibrate they'd say,
Once done.
Yet face them she did,
Her slender form came unarmed,
Neither with knife, nor gun;
But only a single appendage:
She fought them with her tongue.
But now she has won,
She excuses the act,
As something less than it was.
¡°I'm a woman, they would not have attacked"
As if that diminished
The fear she felt
As she crossed Urinal Square,
And confronted the drunks
Who angered her so,
For treating her staff unfair.
But fear or not,
It matters no jot,
The act is still the same,
Courage is born of actions,
So her excuses are terribly lame.
Courage belongs not only to soldiers and kings,
Not only to historical wars;
But also to the common folk
Who go their daily chores.
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INTEREST UNSOPHISTICATED.
¡¡
Only avoidance do her eyes seek,
Away from the study of men,
The stares that made her feel weak,
The first time too, back then.
When men did first explore
An unwanted desire brought
Scrutiny skulking across the floor;
She thinking it was her fault.
A regard that did not amuse,
As joy into frustration grew
She looked down, at her shoes
I persisted, to peruse.
Perusal, however, has an innocent air,
No harm intended, let us be fair.
An element of whimsy?
So, where comes the ailment?
Perhaps the malady is control?
The desire to make her menial,
I have no time for her soul,
As I magnify her external.
My interest solicits only flesh,
No council to her inner concern,
As anatomy my eyes do flash,
A refusal of her heart to discern.
Subject not merely to observation,
No aspect of disinterest here,
You cannot mask licentious inspection,
Especially that spurred by beer.
Alcohol engenders lascivious advance,
She would wish rather not occur,
But, better to tolerate an offensive glance,
Than carnal intentions to which I refer.
There is no wish to comprehend,
The nature of the her heart,
Only a hunger for her spine to bend,
And an urge for her thighs to part.
But there is a cut that deeper runs,
Nothing to do with carnal desire,
It is the way evaluation comes
With my prejudice, that brings despair.
With my look, an element of inquiry,
Implicit, an intention to judge,
And with that, she has cause to worry,
For I design her substance to smudge.
It is with interest unsophisticated,
With purpose of sexual sate,
Guided by procedures well established,
On how I dominate my human mate.
¡¡
¡¡
When I see light in my eye.
Which of the myriad stimuli
Do I most wish to see?
Why!
Eva.
Queen of the Dolphin scene.
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¡¡EVA
With shadows dripping from my wounded heart
My emotions the surface leaves
The tumbling clouds choke the Ocean
And the sea cannot lift it's shoulders.
Under the vault of heaven the keeper steps
Each strut ringing like
And the lightening doust flash like
the jangle of the jailers keys
And the prison o sings
Of love songs born of the moon
Envelop me in your silver beams
Wrap me forever in heavens swoon
Cloke me behind a mask of sentimentality.
Your eyes are like starlight
Your nose was fashioned in Egypt
Your mouth is formed out of wanderlust
Your neck is the steam of a flower;
At the horizon
Between day and night,
There on the rim of the world
Is a streak of light
Before the sun settles,
And the night is not yet born
There - is where your heart nestles Eva;
When at war men think of their loved ones,
And look up in to the sky,
It is not the night they see,
But the light in their girlfriends eye.
The soldiers tender hearts remain
For the lovers that they have lost,
And now - I, look out of the window
At the shadow of the moon
And I am just the same.
Eva, I love you
¡¡
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¡¡
FOR MARSH. on her 49th
An Olimpic flame
On Island alone
Will dim;
But not be smothered.
Abolish not yet your flame;
Labour alone;
Palms outstreched:
Illumination yet!
Amounst us
Your now cloud will lighten:
Even the moon smiles
In her poorly lit comparision.
Repair Heart.
Gather your dress!
Hoist your sails!
Be beguiling
And enchant,
As you can.
Come back Marsha;
Even the moon has charisma!
¡¡
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¡¡
Like Salmon
¡¡
A Movie Hero
I've wanted to be,
Reach for the Sun
And burnt.
My dreams cinders,
My heart ash.
Unrealistic boy;
Allowing dreams
To hinder
Ordinary progression.
Disproportionate!
Reach beyond
My arm?
Like Icuirus?
Ration hope,
Come to earth.
Be safe
In routine.
Reality,
That's me.
But the cinders breathe,
And dreams return,
Like Salmon.
¡¡
Engage activity
Disengage timidity
If your attention you divert
Apprehension you convert!
Get free of trepidation
Activate some small divertion
Divert the cause of your tremours
To somehting that amuses
Alert. Assert.
Expectations
We expect;
And are let down;
And then anger!
Why?
So, there's no one there
At the time we want.
Are you, (me)
Always there?
¡¡
¡¡
No.
So.
Rational Explanations,
Don't help.
It's called The Condition.
The Human Condition.
A tiger doesn't expect friends to be there;
A baboon doesn't expect;
A stone doesn't do it - a flower doesn't need to.
But we do.
Expect.
Expectation.
Only one answer.
¡¡
To
See it all through;
Even though there's no answer;
Love your bothers and sisters
Even when your heart blisters.
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¡¡
¡¡
The Best Irish Girl.
With hair as black as the devils soul
And skin as white as an angels wing,
She gleams as bright as a blooded hole
¡¡
Explosions here have no role
The way she handles a man's remark
She slaps her thigh 'n leaves him dark
She takes no trash from friend or foe
If he hollers - she let's him go!
A blade of grass makes her scream
She's the one who created mean
I have no time to say any more
She's the best Irish girl I've ever saw.
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¡¡
Quick clouds awash
Quick clouds awash
With warm breezes
And hot sand welcomes
A stranger.
The water falls with colours
And the surf kisses
My cufflinks.
¡¡¡¡
Light bifracts
Between wet sheets
And I am drowned
Once more.
Saturated in drink
Footprints dripping
I stumble too...
¡¡
¡¡
Clare's 21st Birthday
Out of sight
But not unseen
Claire;
Any families Queen.
A diamond smile;
A heart of gold;
A fella's dream;
But not yet told.
Brown hair, bright eyes;
Like clouds and sun;
Go seek different skies,
Now you are twenty-one.
¡¡
I went socializing!
But found no equal
Which is not suprizing
As I went to the Egale.
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The Sun comforts me not,
Nor the starry sky,
Only a friendly voice
And a hand held
Can diminish my despaire.
Wishful thinking is not enough
Now that I have everything,
Neither people, not pets
Can comfort my seperatness.
At my end, pour my ashes
Down the drain,
There is no special place
All is ruined by betrayal.
¡¡
¡¡
¡¡
Best dead
Than this emptiness
Day after day.
The nights are better
When I dream,
Without conscious state.
At least in dreams,
Even the nigty mears,
I am unawear
Of my loneliness.
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No courage to call a possible friend,
A woman I think might be true,
No attempt is possible,
When I¡¯m interminable blue.
Fear of rejection remains as strong,
Even when rejection can get no worse.
Let me die,
And exist no more,
Too painful is life,
When racked by isolation.
Paralysed by doubt
And that other obstruction
Despaire.
I have been loved
But obviously not truly
Only temporarily,
When it suited you.
Care not, like I
My punishment
Has come
Oh if only temporarily.
I feel stif
With the tension
Of sleeping.
I will drink forever
Untill the cutain falls
And I am blessed by death.
And let us hope that is
The end of us, no dreams
No awearness after that, no
Cowerdice, no fear, no hopeless love.
Brake my bones
It would be better
Than this.
The worst demond is a child compared.
¡¡
All work done
I expected happiness
What am I left with?
Anger.
No, not even that moves
No bodily air can insigate
Humour, nor contentment
I¡¯m doomed to failure.
By chemicals in my brain
Or without what is necessary
To allow semblence
Of humanity.
Where by night gos
The winged prayer
That touches wreatched
People, it has touched me not.
At the moment not even drink
Can free me into fools paradice
Any paradice will do
And beyond that the void
Emotions bite like reptitles
Eat my inner dwealling
Now forever alone
All love fled.
¡¡
¡¡
A Drinkers Lament
¡¡
¡¡
It is not that vodka relieves loneliness,
For I drink it and I am still alone.
Nevertheless, it gives me a sense of wholeness,
As I forever gaze at my silent 'phone.
Relief comes quick
After another week of pretending;
Which makes me sick.
After a lifetime befriending.
Much is made of goodness,
That it is right to care.
Given over to selflessness;
Yet, into the air I stare.
Vodka has no face;
No friendly smile;
Yet, it can replace
Love - for a while.
¡¡
¡¡
A LAST ROMANTIC TEAR.
¡¡
Night outside my cell window,
Blown about by wind screams,
A snowflake, sky downwards fell.
Away from the stars,
It blew through the bars,
Bright, in my life shed
It flew.
Dreamward down,
It deepened down,
Down to my dead watch lie.
Until, at last it settled,
Upon my open eye.
¡¡
¡¡
¡¡
¡¡As at my mind I rake
I want to shout and scream!
So lonely am I.
I am not what I seem
To the clouds by and by.
Grasp that hidden fact!
My inhibitions have!
So, what gain is my act?
If at myself, I stab?
Knock at my neigbours door?
Alternatively, call a Brother?
I am such a bore!
Where is that women other?
Believe my pain
For it is not fake.
I do remain sane,
As at my mind I rake
¡¡
PRISON
The screeching squeak of click clunk locks turning,
The shrill brassy hum of naked bulbs burning.
The manacle and pinion of plastic utencils,
The jealous possession of tooth marked lead pencils.
Callous bark ¨C brutal voice,
Vindictive remark ¨C hostile choice.
Authority is lock and key,
Dejection is control,
Refusal and rejection
Are the eaters of the soul.
Restrain, hold back, check and curb,
Decline, turn down and begrudge,
Oppression is the prison bar,
The warders¡¯ whim the judge.
Imprison, curfew, keep in, detain,
Constrict, clamp and confine,
Arrest and muzzle the prisoner¡¯s thoughts,
Cramp the imaginative mind.
The metal stairs gloat
At the celibate sound
Of a fat mans nervous bravardo,
Listen to the flutter,
The tremor and qualms
Of the tough guy¡¯s physical cargo.
Captive and keeper,
Prisoner and guard,
Eye each other
In exercise yard.
Queue for your dinner,
Queue for your grub,
Queue to bash the warders¡¯ teeth
Now undressed in gleaming blood.
¡¡
¡¡
¡¡
Be Thyself!
¡¡
Each individuals world,
Grasped by blind experience
Gained yet never held
Slips into obliviance.
Smothered by others,
Who know better;
Taught by mothers
And writer's letters.
All teachers rot!
We have no resemblance
Graves no not
Nor men of relevance.
All hearts belong
To their own company!
And their individual song
Despite measured empathy!
To be thyself!
The hardest quest!
Leave on heavens shelf
The Intelligence test!
You abide as my hearts delight,
But your choice is concluded;
And my voice mute:
As silent, as a hive at night.
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